Many people don’t take kindly to people telling them what they should or shouldn’t do with their child, including how to discipline them. However, many parents are looking for constructive and effective ways to steer their child’s behavior. Parenting doesn’t come with a specific manual but just like most topics, it does come with Scriptures for wisdom and guidance. Let's delve deeper.

Correct Your Child Consistently

Children have to actually be steered. Don’t ignore their behavior or do nothing, not even sometimes. If we “let it go” sometimes, we are sending a message to the child that the behavior is okay sometimes. We want them to know that whatever behavior they are displaying is not okay, period. This can be tiring because most correction takes multiple attempts but we cause them to stumble if we don’t correct it, and the more inconsistent we are, the longer and possibly unfruitful our attempts are. God’s word says that God corrects His children because He loves them. If we love our child(ren), we should correct them also.

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? ~ Hebrews 12:6-7

Discipline Your Child with Wisdom

Discipline shouldn't hurt a child physically, mentally, or emotionally. It’s simply to show them a better way to behave and thrive in this world and ultimately the Kingdom of God. Discipline is all about teaching. Ephesians 6:4 says “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” To nurture means to care for and encourage growth. Nurturing is gentle and loving and it does not cause pain or harm. It may be uncomfortable or undesirable in other ways but it doesn’t damage a child's being (spirit, soul, or body).

The reality is, physical pain can change any living creature’s behavior whether we’re training a dog, bridling a horse, testing on a rat, or desire obedience in a slave. If we punish them physically, torture them physically, or cause any level of physical pain we do, in most cases, see a change in behavior. This does not mean that it is the right or best way to train a child. Some parents defend spanking based on Proverbs 23:13 which says “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die”. However, what is a rod? A rod is not necessarily a stick, a rod is anything we use for correction. A rod is something that is placed in someone’s back to correct their spine, a rod could be a prayer, and a rod could be our words.

But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth: and he shall smite the earth: with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked. ~ Isaiah 11:4

Be an Example for Your Child

Many parents don’t like it when their child misbehaves because it reflects poorly on them as a parent. Likewise, God does not like when His children misbehaves because it reflects poorly on God. Remember people who don’t know God are watching us and they are forming thoughts about God based on our actions because we claim to represent Him. The difference between God as a Father and us as a parent is that God is holy and our behavior comes from our sinful nature. The reality for our children is that they're getting their behavior from their parent. Either they see it directly, they see it indirectly, or they were not corrected about the behavior consistently.

Consider this true story. A four year old began saying “What the heck!” He said it with so much force that he might as well said “What the h***!” or “What the f***!”. He was such a sweet child, his statement was genuinely innocent, so he wasn't corrected initially. One day his mom had enough. She told him she didn’t like it and asked him where he learned it from. He replied “I don’t know”. She responded, “Well you definitely didn’t learn it from me”. She dropped him off before heading to work and as she was driving a car quickly drove out in front of her. She slammed on her brakes and yelled “What the heck!!!” She paused when she realized, her sweet child did indeed learn it from her. Many times as parents we’re not aware of every single thing we do and say that our impressionable children are picking up on. So if there is a behavior that we’re trying to correct in our child, we need to correct it in ourself first, be an example, and then correct them.

Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. ~ 1 Timothy 4:12

 Help Them Understand their Emotions

Expressing emotions in a healthy and knowledgeable manner doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s taught. Our children watch us, their other parent(s), their siblings, their grandparents, and their friends express their emotions. The larger the scope of emotions they’re exposed to, the more capable they are in expressing themselves in healthy ways. If we’re a single parent or married couple that communicates poorly, our children may see emotions expressed on an extremely lower level than other children because a healthy dialogue between a man and a woman is missing. If we have one child, their emotional capacity may be challenged also because they don’t have a sibling to dialogue with and there’s less opportunity for correction because we don’t see their emotional interactions as often. We have to allow children to see us expressing our emotions in healthy ways and intentionally teach them about their emotions.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. ~ Proverbs 22:6 

Pray and Fast for Your Child

It’s sad but children are under spiritual attack as well. As a parent we must realize that some of the issues our child has, yes even a five year old, may be spiritual. Consider this true story. A young boy, about seven years old was having behavioral issues at school. It was consistent for months so the mom began to fast and pray. She noticed that when she was fasting and praying, he was fine. There were no phone calls from the school. But as soon as she stopped fasting and praying, the behavior returned and the phone calls from school returned. She became frustrated as she vented to her mom "Do I have to fast for the rest of my life?!" God then gave her a dream, showing her that her son was under spiritual attack. At first, she was angry at the evil spirit for having the audacity to come after her son. Then she was angry at herself for being so unprepared and unaware. She knew about spiritual warfare, and wondered how this escaped her for so long. She asked God to remove the spirit and began praying and fasting again. Since then, she had no issues and no phone calls. The young boy is now a young man. We must be proactive with praying and fasting for our children. We shouldn't wait until our child appears to be impacted. We should also teach them how to protect themselves spiritually by teaching them the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) and allow them to practice fasting. Look up fun lessons and projects they can do about their spiritual weapons and don’t limit them. Children are capable of much more than we think. 

Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. ~ Luke 10:19 

Conclusion

If a child feels safe, loved, and are equipped properly, their need for discipline and correction typically declines over time. Even as adults, we still need discipline and correction from our Heavenly Father, but the more we mature and the more we trust God’s Word and ways, the less we need correction. The same goes for our children.